"What can I say about love?" was my first thought when I sat down to write to you this month. It's a groovy topic, but it's such a broad subject it's hard to condense my feelings about it in just one column. What I thought I would do is tell you about an experience I had that taught me many things about love.

I've always been a romantic type and although I've only gone steady a couple of times, that's the situation I seem to fit best in. Of course, I date a lot of girls and I love every minute of it, but all the while I'm wishing, in the back of my mind, that I could have one very special girl that was all mine and I was all hers.

IN LOVE ONCE - I've only been in love once before and at the time I felt it was going to last forever. I don't even want to tell you the girl's name because our love was something that should stay just between us, but I will tell you about what happened to me because of my love for this girl.

We met quite accidentally and hit it off right away - no problems talking to one another, in fact, we couldn't stop talking! We seemed to like all the same things and she shared my love of life and living! I truly believed I had found the "girl of my dreams." What I didn't realize then was the way I felt about this girl wasn't love. What had happened was I fell in love with love.

It was the first time in my life that I felt very strongly about anyone. I had dated through high school and college, and I'd gone out with lots of actresses and singers, but things never got serious. Because we hit it off so well and had so much fun together, it was like being in love. She really cared about my welfare and I cared about hers. So it was the feeling of love that I loved, not the girl, even though I made myself believe that I was in love with her. It's very easy to be fooled by your own self.

REALLY HURT - When the whole thing ended, I really felt hurt. I'm a super sensitive person and I think I hurt myself more than anything. In some of the letters I've received you've asked me what to do when your boyfriend leaves you or you've been hurt by someone and I'm not sure I have an answer. There's a lot of pain involved, there's no getting around that. To love, I think, you have to feel pain. The only thing there is is time. It's easier to say than it is to cope with, but that is the great healer - time. And I know.

I'm not bitter about my first experience with love, or the feeling of love, because after it was all over I could take a step back and look at the situation objectively. When I did, I learned more about what I believe love is.

I feel that love isn't just a strong feeling. You have feelings and emotions every day depending on your moods. So, you can't judge love by strong feelings alone. To me, love is a decision or judgment. It's something that's there and you have no doubts about it. If you have to ask yourself, "Am I really in love?" then you're probably not.

MORE AWARE - Some people say you're happier when you're in love, but I'm not so sure. I do believe you wake up more aware than ever before. You're more aware of yourself and the things around you. You can have a lot of problems that have nothing to do with your love, but being in love makes it so your downs aren't as down and your ups are a lot more up. You end up doing a lot of self research, because you want to be more aware of yourself so you can express yourself to the person you love.

A lot of people today don't believe in the old tradition that there is one boy meant for one girl forever. Some people can't or won't accept that today. But I think that someday I'm going to find the one girl and settle down for the rest of my life. I feel this because I've given it a lot of thought and it's something I look forward to.

I haven't even thought about what she will be like - the girl I love forever. It's so hard to place any restrictions on it. One of my favorite authors, Kahlil Gibran, has written "For love is sufficient unto love," and I believe this is true. Nothing else matters when you truly love someone - whether you're rich or poor or whatever, it just doesn't matter as long as you have someone to love.

I'd like to hear your views on love, so you can write to me here at Tiger Beat. Also, if there's anything in particular you'd like me to write about in my column, let me know that too! Until we're together...

Love,
Bobby