Modern Screen - June 1969

Bobby Sherman's in Love!
But, as for marriage...

Take one fantastically famous young actor-singer, one who has girls literally fainting over him, and put him together with a pretty eighteen-year-old girl who's not yet out of high school. Do this on April 1, and it's bound to be one big joke. Right?

Wrong. It doesn't work out that way, not if the guy is Bobby Sherman, a star of Here Come The Brides, and the girl is luscious Patti Carnel, whom Bobby looks at affectionately, respects mightily, and dates all the time. Instead of pranks, mere fun and games, there emerges the picture of a relationship that could be very special.

Bobby and Patti first met on this past April Fool's Day, in about as mad, mod a way as anyone could imagine.

"My friend, Diane - who lives in the same apartment building as Bobby - and I had gone to the Teen-Age Fair," Patti said recently, "and when we arrived back at Diane's, we passed Bobby's place. The sounds coming out indicated some kind of party, so we just took our courage in our hands and rang his doorbell. We were both anxious to meet Bobby, and Diane had sort of a crush on him. She introduced herself as a neighbor, and Bobby asked us in."

That was the beginning...almost. Actually, Bobby and Patti didn't have their first date until Easter Sunday. In the meantime, he had taken Diane out once, only once. And that date nearly caused insurmountable trouble between the two girls. Also, it gave Patti some moments of soul searching; she didn't want to hurt a friend, so she tried not to like Bobby at all.

However, all her firm intentions were eroded by Bobby's smile and considerable charm; on Easter Sunday, she accepted a date for the evening.

Where did they go, this young superstar and his lady? Hard as it may be to believe, Bobby took her to meet his parents, who live in Van Nuys, in the fabled San Fernando Valley not far from Hollywood. No discotheque, no dark, plush restaurant, no star-filled party. No, Bobby took this lovely young girl to meet his parents - something few do today, fewer still in the lotus land of Hollywood.

Later, after their visit, Bobby took Patti to see a play, Charlie Brown. Then he took her home. After all, the next day was a school day, and Patti, at that time, was finishing her senior year in high school.

So it began, in the spring, when every tree and bush in the rich California soil is beginning to burst in bloom. Spring, the season of young love.

But unlike many springtime romances, this one was still going strong at the end of a long, hot summer. Oh, it had its little problems, especially at the beginning. For one thing, Patti's friend, Diane, did take their dating hard; she didn't speak to Patti for a month after learning of the Carnel-Sherman relationship. However, that has been worked out, and now the two girls are fast friends again. Also, Patti had to get through school; she did, graduating from Reseda High School in June, with plans to enter college this fall. Bobby's work schedule was no small barrier either, for making an hour-long television show every week entails long, hard hours.

Still, their relationship blossomed, and recently, sitting close together in the office of Bobby's public relations representative, the two certainly looked relaxed and happy. There was Bobby, dressed in a tan, double-breasted jacket, very mod and neat, and Patti in a pants suit of some lavender, silk-like material...very beautiful! And both of them were very ready to comment on life, love and that old hang-up for so many: marriage.

Surprisingly, perhaps in one who is to many so representative of this newer, freer generation, Bobby firmly stated, "Marriage is an institution that I respect."

Then, hardly pausing for breath, he rushed on: "The one groovy thing that I feel good about is the amount of work I've been doing - being active, getting out of town, meeting a bunch of different people. I see different walks of life, kids from different types of families. They talk to you, write notes to you, so you get to understand their feelings about love, their emotions and their sensitivities."

In a town where most marriage are over before they've hardly begun, and where most young bachelors in their twenties tend to make light of the whole institution, Bobby's overt approval is surprising. But it is less so when the facts of his own life are known.

In the first place - and it makes a difference - Bobby was born near Hollywood, in the seaside community of Santa Monica. His parents, Robert and Juanita Sherman, have one of the best marriages ever, so he grew up seeing a fine relationship between a man and a woman. Second of all, despite his sensationally rapid rise to stardom, Bobby always had a stable home life, the sort he might have had if his family had lived in a small Midwest community. Indeed, to this day, Bobby's father operates, of all unlikely things in the tinsel world of movieland, a dairy.

There never was any generation gap between Bobby and his parents. They encouraged his interests and activities, which always were many and varied. While still in high school, Bobby became interested in engineering and psychology. Also, despite his relatively slight size for the sport (5'10" in height, only 135 pounds in weight), he became a football star. Then there was music, which at the time was only a hobby, but one which was to lead young Bobby to fame. He sang at parties and trained himself to play not just one or two, but an astounding total of ten musical instruments - from drums and harmonica to the esoteric Indian stringed sitar.

With this solid, home-loving background, it is no wonder that Bobby said, "Love, in my opinion, is not just a strong feeling. You can get strong feelings about a lot of things, including indigestion. Just feeling for somebody...hurting for somebody...isn't a good indication of love.

"Love is more than surface feelings. Love is a decision, a judgment; it's a promise, a commitment that you have to be prepared to maintain. It's not an eight-hour-a-day job; it's a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. It's important for two people in a love relationship to be the best of friends...the best of lovers...the best of everything to each other.

"On top of this," he explained, "will come the comfort, the habit, that develops in a beautiful relationship. A healthy habit."

For a moment, Bobby just sat there, squeezing Patti's hand; his eyes looking far away. Finally he continued, "Sometimes, people aren't really in love, but they are so comfortable in the habit of being together that they don't want to break it up, because they're not used to being alone. So they find themselves involved in a relationship that really should be dissolved. They're just too afraid..."

Looking straight at the slight girl by his side, Bobby said, "I think this is why honesty is one of the prime factors in a love relationship. It's a lot easier to take a spoonful of truth than that much of a lie, if only because it confuses the issue later if there are lies. If one small lie gets through and is found out, it paves the way for mistrust."

Candor certainly must be the basis for his and Patti's relationship. When asked if he felt he had ever been in love before, Bobby - without a second's hesitation answered, "I think so. Yes, if not totally, then at least I saw the color from a distance - enough to know that one day I would know what it's about. Otherwise, I'd be talking through my hat; I know I've felt love."

What held him back then? Why, with his professed belief in matrimony, didn't he follow his love to the alter?

"I felt the responsibility was more than I could take," Bobby replied with simple directness. "Oh, not the financial responsibility - that I could take - but psychologically...

"You see, the girl was older than I was and had two children. I really loved them all. Nonetheless, it was something I could not quite accept, even though I felt a tremendous responsibility toward all three of them.

"It was not an honest kind of approach that I had. I kept telling myself, 'I can do this'; in the back of my mind, though, I was thinking, 'Am I in this now because they are all dependent on me? Do I really feel that this is what I want?' I guess I really was just too young psychologically to accept that kind of responsibility. If there had not been children involved, the picture might have changed considerably. I guess I did a lot of rationalizing."

For another long moment Bobby seemed lost in his own thoughts; then he continued, "We did an episode of Brides that got a big point across to me: If you have seeds of doubt, you should listen and analyze them.

"Nonetheless, at the time when a relationship falls apart, anything anybody says to you becomes just a lot of words. Unfortunately, I think time is the only answer; time will eventually take care of everything. You can't count on other people coming in to do that work for you. If you do, you're in trouble. I know. Everything I felt for a long time was all internal, and I couldn't see past my head."

Somehow, even with all the work and emotional turmoil, Bobby managed to keep his feet sturdily and steadily on the ground. Now, he reports happily, he and the other woman are friends - that's all.

"I do regard her as a friend, very much so, and I have a love and respect for her," Bobby said happily.

All of which is very well, but what about the girl at his side? What about Patti? How does she feel? Does she love Bobby?

When that question was put to her directly, Patti flustered, ducked her head and hesitated. Then, slowly, she replied, "Well...I like him a lot..."

"You can tell the truth," Bobby interrupted. Then, in a quick burst of laughter, he confided, "And that's probably it..."

But when the same question was put to him, he, too, hesitated before saying, "Yes, I love Patti - sure... But the thing is, it would be dishonest if I said right now that I love Patti and it was turning out to be a marriage thing. Because, you see, we have an honest relationship. We see each other a lot, and we just let it go and see where it goes. We're not rushing anything.

"You see," he chuckled, "I had a lunch date with Patti today, so I picked her up and brought her along. She didn't know she would be asked any questions. She answered pretty honestly. Besides," he grinned delightfully, "she's beautiful..."

That she is, lovely enough to be a glamorous star herself, although she seems to have no such intentions. Instead, level-headed Patti plans to enter college and get a good education. It's an idea Bobby approves of, although he added, "I'd like to see Patti do some commercials now. She has a good face for them."

Bobby would be the last to try to persuade her to forgo college, however. He once had just such plans himself. In fact, he did enter Pierce College to major in psychology, but that wasn't the way the Sherman destiny was due to work out. Instead, he auditioned for a new television show, Shindig - aimed at the Pepsi generation - and won out over more than 500 young aspirants. That did it; Bobby was so busy starring, for almost two full years, on that show that something had to go by the board. It was collage.

Shindig made Bobby a singing idol of his generation, with his records zooming into the best-selling class overnight, and Bobby himself topping the fan-mail record for an entire network. Bobby's niche seemed secure.

Perhaps, at that point, he thought his entire life would be bound up in music. Certainly, he was not complaining, for he has loved music all his life.

"I was also always interested in recording." Bobby explained. "I bought a couple of cheap recorders to fool around with, but despite the fact that I play all those instruments, I couldn't do anything good with cheap recorders; it became a one-man mess. So, after I started Shindig and made some money, I began to invest in really professional equipment. Later I had myself a studio - a real, professional studio."

That studio has had a lot of use, with other groups using it frequently. In fact, almost by accident, it has become a real money-maker for Bobby, so much so that he now is considering expanding it and moving into a larger building. Nonetheless, he still loves to enjoy it privately, and he and Patti spend a lot of time there listening to records. Bobby has recorded Patti's voice, but neither of them seem to have any idea of her doing anything professionally in that field.

Most of all, Patti and Bobby seem to enjoy spending time with his parents. Patti lights up like a Christmas tree when they are mentioned, and she enthusiastically calls them "the greatest parents in the world - young and groovy..." Bobby adds, "They love her, and she loves them."

This seems a most unlikely courtship for two such bouncing, hip members of today's youth. What of everything we keep hearing about marriage being an outmoded formality among the young? What of everything that is printed about youth's condemnation of their elders for what they call hypocrisy? You won't hear it from Bobby and Patti.

"I think marriage is very important," Bobby repeated later on in our talk. "Oh, I can acknowledge some of the hippie ideas. There is some truth in their contention that if you have a beautiful love, who cares about going through the formalities. That is especially true," he grinned ruefully, "where financial matters are concerned."

With a dry chuckle, he said, "A couple can be very much in love and yet can't afford to go through the hassle of marriage. Financially, the guy may not be able to take on the responsibility of a family. In my opinion, though, if a couple can't make the marriage financially, they should give the whole thing some really serious thought.

"However, I think that once you find that beautiful thing - once you know it, and you've nailed it to the wall - and you can afford it, then you should go right into it."

Bobby is not ready to accept that notion that marriage is a custom imposed on young, free souls by society, by the establishment.

"When people talk like that," he said wisely, "They're speaking as a mass. I don't think they are speaking as individuals in love. When you have a relationship that is complete, when you are able to lock that up - psychologically bind it - then you really have something.

"I certainly want a one-time thing," he went on in great earnestness. "It's a very utopian kind of attitude, but that's the way I want it for myself. If you feel enough love, if you can analyze it well enough to the point where you say, 'I want to be with this person for the rest of my life,' then there shouldn't be any mistakes. Later on, there shouldn't be the problem of suddenly saying, 'We just don't get along,' not if there's real love to begin with."

"I know a lot of people - like my parents - who have been married for a good 30-32 years, and theirs are beautiful marriages. I respect them for that. My folks have never shown me or my sister any kind of bad colors in their marriage.

"Oh, there have been slight disagreements, of course," Bobby laughed indulgently, "but in a way, my mother and father are kind of funny; the way they disagree is sort of cute. The thing is, though, I respect their relationship; that's the relationship that I would like to have."

Suddenly much more serious, and speaking slowly, as if to be sure of every thought, Bobby stated, "I won't step into marriage without being totally, absolutely sure. And that's it. When I do marry, though, I expect to work as hard as I can to keep it right."

Patti, who'd listened to all this with a face as solemn as Bobby's tone, shook her blonde head in agreement. Then, with equal thoughtfulness, she said, "I go along with Bobby. Yes, I do believe in marriage - sooner or later."

Then they just sat there, gazing at each other steadily, as completely absorbed in each other as if they were alone in the room. As clearly as if they had spoken, the words hung in the air, "We love, sure. But now let's wait to be doubly sure. Let's not rush it; we have time. And maybe some day we will find we are right for marriage."

They may not, of course, but Bobby Sherman and Patti Carnel are willing to take that risk. In the meantime, these two bright, beautiful young people are taking each day as it comes - with love and joy.

Theirs is, after all, an old-fashioned courtship being carried on in this mad, mod world. Somehow, to the onlooker, that makes it doubly sweet.